Tonight was the band banquet. If you’ve never been in band, you wouldn’t understand, but basically, all band banquets are the same. Dress nice to the point where the band kids don’t recognize each other (we’re usually all sweaty and gross. Dressy and clean is a nice change I guess), get served salad, chicken of some kind, then cheese cake, listen to directors speeches and other awards and presentations, watch the end-of-year-video, take a million pictures. This is pretty standard, I think. It was between high school and Baylor anyway.
Last year, I was at the fun table where all of us were good friends with each other. We were all weird together and it was okay. We had pretty much coordinated our table before we got there. I got a few references. I was in the video. I got my turn at the podium to give a speech. I was section leader. I was…. important, I guess. Tons of people wanted pictures. I was in my niche.
This year was a little bit different. I got all dressed up and I did my fair share of double takes when I showed up – alone. I didn’t know who I was going to sit with. My section, I guessed. I was right, but it took awhile to find a seat. I tried to start a trumpet table, but no one joined, so I got back up and joined a different one. I got mentioned once during all the talking, and that was as a freshman representative on band council. That’s something, I guess, but I didn’t get on next year’s council as the position I ran for… I guess I’ll have to try for class rep next year. Every one got up at the end and rushed to their separate groups… I was suddenly alone in the middle of this crowded room. I don’t have a group of friends in band. I’m not in a group. I really, really hope K Psi fixes that issue – because it really is an issue. I hated being the drifter again. I’ve done this so many times in so many situations, but I never imagined it happening in band. I was in the trumpet picture and my squad picture, but after that, I was in 2 pictures, I think. I hate to complain about not being popular and sounding like a whiny pre teen or whatever, but I’m just comparing last year and this year. After a little bit I just got sick of being the kid that wasn’t really part of whichever group I was trying to be part of, so I left.
I laughed during the presentations and videos, I got the jokes, I felt like part of the band, but I felt like a rejected nobody in the band. It was the most depressing band banquet I’ve been to in the last 5 band banquets.
On the bright side, I signed a pre-lease for an apartment at Baylor Plaza II today and got that damn ticket paid (only to find a parking ticket when I got back to my car. Just my luck). So how’s life, you ask? Just peachy. I have somewhere to live next year. But other than that, I have finals to stress over and study for like mad, I have no friends, I have a parking ticket, I have to PAY for the pre-lease tomorrow (another $150 out of my pocket. Party on), I have… just so much shit in my life right now. I can’t wait for Christmas break.