Thursday, September 29, 2011


I felt like this needed its own post, instead of being clumped up in one of my novelistic 'life update' rants.

I think I really like a girl.

I debated with myself on that sentence for a lot longer than I wanted to. I almost said 'love,' but that sounds dramatic and I'm not sure I really do. Let's be real - what the hell do I know about love? My dating history says I don't know jack shit, and I've accepted it, but this feels different.

She doesn't know, and it's better that way, as she isn't exactly available... in fact, she and him were together long before I knew either of them existed. Of course, this doesn't stop me from teeming with happiness whenever I see her. I think that's the best way to put it. I can't help but to smile when she's around.

Worse yet, I have reason to believe - from her - that there could have been something, given that her boy never existed. I wish I could go into more detail than this silly 'she and him' and vagueness that surrounds this whole topic, but if the wrong person found this blog, which is painfully public sometimes, this would all be out in seconds, and everyone involved is too close to me. With even the littlest clue, anyone that knows her would be able to tell who it is. So I stay general.

She's not another Ashley, not another Allison, not another Katherine, or Kathy, or Cate, and certainly not another Amanda. Or any other girl I've ever dated. She's so much more.... there's just not even a word for it. The word 'perfect' sounds a little too cheesy and mushy, and the word 'awesome' loses its touch when you start calling things like your new shirt 'awesome'. I don't know. Everything about her is just right. I'd start listing, and I'm certainly capable, but that's too specific for this cautious post.

I'm happy for her, but I can't help to be jealous of him. And while a little part of me is completely sick for wishing they would break up, I know what it would do to her, and moreover, it's not going to happen, and everyone knows it, so somehow I have to deal.

I don't blame him for staying with her. I just wish it were me.

I'm not procrastinating...

So you know that feeling when you're supposed to be doing homework, and the responsible part of you wants to do it, but somewhere inside you just know that you really have no intention of doing it, no matter how many times you say you're planning on starting any moment now?

I stopped lying to myself. I know I'm not going to do it. Screw procrastinating. It's too stressful. I'm just going to not do it. One less thing to worry about. And besides, the time it takes isn't worth such a little percentage of my grade. I made a freaking 97 on the first test in this class - I think that justifies sucking up on homework for a little bit. But this is 3 homework assignments later, and I'm still saying this. Next week I kick up my game. Yep.

All day today felt like a Friday. It was definitely only Wednesday, and every time I thought it was Friday it was depressing to realize it was still only Wednesday. I'm sure Friday will feel like some other day of the week, especially since I have an online quiz to take sometime between 8 and midnight on Friday. Why does school have to get in the way of life so much?

Friday, September 23, 2011

Google vs. Facebook

The great debate is on. Which business strategy is better?

On one hand, we have Google. It started as a search engine. Then added some stuff that people liked. You have a personalized homepage, Google Chrome, Google maps, Google docs... just stuff people like. Now they have Google+ to add to their arsenal. To add to it, if it likes what someone else is doing, they just buy it. Blogspot, for example. Yeah, you need a google account to get a blog on this website. What else? Youtube and Android, to name a few, but in all, Google has acquired 103 different companies to take or incorporate their technology. That costs a lot, but now it's all Google branded, and infinitely more easily managed. They can change whatever they want - they own it.

Facebook, on the other hand, is only a website. It has bought its fair share of stuff too. It has 16 companies and two domain names - for $200,000, and much later for another $8.5 million. All of the things it bought fueled its core website - it brought in talent, and the technology powers everything from the friend finder to the mobile app. But it was still all just, as opposed to the dozens of websites Google has under its umbrella. Sounding one sided? Well now facebook wasn't done yet. Instead of flat out buying everything it wants, it has taken a different route. It partnered with other companies. This isn't quite as reliable as buying them out. They are still their own companies. Oh, by the way, facebook just announced a few days ago that they have new partnerships with more than a dozen music platforms, as well as video providers like Netflix, Hulu, and Blockbuster. This provides an interesting opportunity. If facebook plays their cards right, they'll have much more than Hulu and Rhapsody. Their goal is to make facebook a place people never actually have to leave on the internet. Yes, their goal is essentially to become the internet. Or, at least, become an internet browser, but from the other side. It will be the website of websites.

Unlike Google, who seemingly wants to buy the entire internet, company by company, Facebook just intends to use its user base (they have over 800,000,000 users, and recently had over half a billion - with a B - of them log on in a single day) to bait other companies into begging facebook to let them have a presence on facebook. Just think, if you're on facebook and want to watch the most recent episode of Weeds, or South Park, or Glee for that matter, do you really want to go to google, search for it, try to see if Hulu has it, go pirate it somewhere? Not if it's already on facebook. Facebook will have companies lining up to have that kind of advertising. Companies will look at that number of users, which exceeds the US population by a fair margin, and see market potential. They'll line up to try and be the one facebook lets onto their website. They aren't buying companies, oh no. Companies will be paying them instead.

But what happens when facebook's user numbers peak out and decline? All their partnerships fall apart and they're left all alone, just another social networking site that comes second to Google, who probably has the same integrations Facebook does, at this point, but there's a key difference. Google's movie providers, music engines, news, etc. is all OWNED by Google. They can't leave.

So which is the better way to achieving the end goal of owning the internet? To being equated to the internet? To being that company that people someday say, "hold on, lemme get on Google really fast," INSTEAD of saying, "let me get on the internet to check". What if Google's future moves include buying Microsoft? Could there be a Google operating system? Google computers? Google could have it all. Could Facebook do the same?

On a different topic, what I'm envisioning with the Microsoft acquisition is to one day have Google Portal. This creation in my mind is not a program by Google, but a hardware device. Maybe even in public places in addition to hand helds. This thing has one goal: to give you google. Whatever you can do with Google, you can do on this thing. It's a direct connection to the Google internet. But no one will buy that, you say, when you can do all that AND have the rest of the internet with any computer or smart phone. Yes, but what if its a flat rate of a few hundred dollars? What if there aren't any monthly bills? All Google has to do is buy out Verizon, and bam, it can be a phone too. Hell, they could charge a few thousand, and if people thought they could get their money's worth before it broke, it would be a hit.

That's my short little sci fi feature of the night, but back to the original question.... could facebook take google's place in that scenario? They already have that facebook button on the HTC Status; aren't they already closer to the magical device? Either way, I feel one of them will be victorious. I don't know whose side I think will win, but personally, I feel Google has the upper hand. What do you think?

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

back pain.

Top 10 most annoying things to do with god awful lower back pain:

10. Standing still
9. Marching band
8. Dropping anything too big to pick up with your toes.
7. Sleeping
6.. Walking up stairs
5. Standing up
4. Sitting down
2. Putting pants on
1. Sneezing.

Really. Sneezing. Number one worst thing to do with a bad back. I sneezed today and it floored me for 2 hours. So what did I do when I couldn't stand? I had to lay down. Then I had to get up, to go to marching band. And yes, putting pants on made the list. Socks? Shoes? No, you can sit down for those. It's hellish to try and put pants on. Standing, bending over, standing on one foot... just nothing good about it.

Best part of my morning? The moment I feel the advil kicks in. Ugh. I really really hate this back pain shit. I need to get this looked at or something. But that requires walking to the SLC and going up to the clinic, which, of course, is on the second floor of the building. Stairs.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Oh dear, I've nearly forgotten this website, haven't I?

Okay, well to be fair, school started, now didn't it? Which means, between band, accounting, management, marketing, more band, management info systems, stats, and band, my schedule is pretty full. Not to even mention taking care of the dog and my physical social life (get your mind out of the gutter, I just mean life off the internet)...

Right, well, I've been busy. Really busy. Like, no alone free time busy. In fact, I should be doing homework right now, but the old habit of procrastinating has finally returned, now that the first week's hype is over. Think of it like New Year's resolutions..

Speaking of which, I have a couple new school year's resolutions that I hope work out...
  • a real diet. Not like, dieting, just proper meals. I don't want to fall in the rut of ramen and easy mac on a daily basis. 
  • keep working on organization. I can always put this on my priority list. I need to find something that works, or else I'm gonna be forever lost in my own life. 
  • get my financial shit together. If I'm gonna get out of college and play with stocks for a living, a decent personal portfolio is gonna look pretty good on a resume, and besides, I need money. That means making time for research, which could pose yet another there's-only-24-hours-in-a-day problem.
  • exercise. This one's the typical new years thing, but I mean it. I live 2 blocks from Baylor's free gym. I don't have an excuse at all. It's 3 minutes away, if I walk slowly. I think I can spare 45 minutes or an hour to do SOMETHING. I'm trying to stay realistic. It won't be every day, and I won't be running a marathon by December, but physical activity needs to happen. 
  • expand my social circle into the business school. That whole networking concept. I'm looking into the future a little bit, and it may seem like I'm trying to turn friendship into a greedy personal thing, but that's exactly what I'm doing. I've talked about this before.. I firmly believe that connections are at least 60% of what goes into a job opportunity. Given, you have to be able to do the job well, but to get the chance, you need to know people. People need to know you're out there. 
I think that's most of it. I have a couple other small things, but that's a good start. 

Needless to say, all of those things take even more time away from my blog, which sadly comes second to real life. I have to live to have something to blog about.  Speaking of which... another list! Things I have to blog about. This is more for me, but its a little sneak peak for all of you too, I guess.
  • My classes. It's kinda the major thing I do at school, so I'll tell you guys how that's going. Maybe some of the interesting things I learn can make it on here. 
  • An interesting thing I wrote, forgot about, and found a year and a half later. It's like a time capsule. 
  • Updates on above goals. nuff said.
  • I've been thinking about making an economy/financial blog. Right now it's just a thought in the back of my mind, but I think it could be a good idea. It gives me a reason to do some real research, plus it gives me a place to organize my own thoughts and get input and opinions back from other people.
So that's a look into the future, but for now, I need to go do some MIS homework and make some lunch. I'm thinking some corn dogs and veggies (which I forced myself to buy).

(On a side note, I really like the new interface for blogspot. It's definitely copying wordpress to a degree, but it's much more... I dunno, mature looking I guess. It's nice. If you just read without your own blog, it doesn't mean anything to you, but this is my blog, I'll say what I want. :D)