...but a good gah! Like a, I-dont-know-how-to-describe-this-awesomeness gah!. But, being the owner of this blog, I suppose it's now my duty to describe it to the best of my ability anyway.
Well lets go over some things that are a tad bit vital to this situation.
1. I. Love. Baylor.
2. I can't get enough marching band.
I just can't even begin to list all the reasons I love Baylor... it's just perfect here. Awesome people, awesome friends, amazing events.... the place is full of history and tradition and spirit (which is quite the change from the class of 2010 at Coppell, half of which didn't care, and the other half had a fake school spirit just because they were supposed to) and activities for anyone, anywhere.
Which brings me to the second point: band. I am a finance major, and that really doesn't get in the way at all. At first, I was like, "well, I'm going into business... do I really have time for band? Maybe I should just put it down and move on." Then I started thinking about not having that 300 person family to rely on. Not playing my trumpet. Not marching. Sitting with everyone in the stands, looking at the marching band and saying, "gee, I wish I had done that now."
So instead of just waiting for it to happen, I avoided it and just joined band. Best idea ever. Scott Mason nearly ruined band for me, and I'm so glad I didn't let him take it away from me forever. I love the college band situation so many million times more than Coppell High School's marching band. Of course, it is true that Coppell probably has a better sound, and much more sharp, precise marching technique. But guess what. IT DOESN'T MATTER. College band is about having fun and putting on a show for people at half time. Not contest. It's about looking good and representing Baylor at games while legitimately enjoying yourself. Not being yelled at until you thought you were worth nothing. Results happen because the members of the band care and want to be there. Not because Satan is kicking and screaming in his little nest and running a nazi camp disguised as a marching band rehearsal.
You get it.
Anyway, the rehearsals are amazing, the band is amazing... it's just amazing. But the part I've always loved most is the friendship and relationships that come from band. I could never give up that feeling of togetherness that comes from putting 300 people together and doing a single task in 100 degree heat. This is the reason I stayed in band the most. It's where I fit. It's home. If one thing will fundamentally never change, it's marching band. It'll have different flavors, based on the kind of director, but its still marching band.
Today we had at least a 6 hour rehearsal. By the end of it, I was sincerely sad it was over. I would have willingly kept going, possibly because it was finally under 90 outside because it was 10 PM, but mostly because I just love it.
We had a traditions part, where the freshmen learn all the ups and downs of gameday and some history of the band... blah blah blah. But the end of it nearly made me cry.
To this point, I was the freshmen, they were the band. Separate and completely unequal. At the end of each day of summer band, the freshman would stand, the rest would kneel, and we would sing That Good Old Baylor Line, our alma mater. And I saw the point, singling us out at the beginning. That was all fine and dandy. What I didn't expect was what happened tonight. The freshmen rose at the end, and we started the song. 2 or 3 lines in, the upperclassmen started, one by one, rising and joining us. It hit me deep down, deeper than I would have imagined a simple action like standing up could hit. I suddenly realized there were no longer freshmen and upperclassmen. Just band kids. Just a group of equals. Just one big family. And I was part of it. I was home.
Being a senior in Coppell Band was great. I knew what was going on all the time. I knew right and wrong, what He meant to say, who everyone was, what everyone was supposed to do.... everything. It was home to me. But now, after being taken, fully, into the Baylor University Golden Wave Band, I have a whole new sense of just how much of a support band can be to my life. It's what holds me up. It's what gets me through the days.
And I love it.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
Day One
Ready, Set, College!
Here's how things went down today. I woke up at some ridiculous hour of the morning, showered, packed the last few things, and was ready to go around 6, I think. We left just after that. Needless to say, I slept like a rock in the car, even though I had about 14 inches of seat in the back, squished up next to my clothes, trumpet, sub woofer, and a backpack. And a few other things, I'm sure... it was all blending into the general "college stuff" pile by then. The six boxes, guitar, and bike just barely fit into the bed of Dad's frontier. That thing just doesn't qualify as a truck, honestly. Small bed, ok cab, but still small... its a diet truck, if anything. Anyway, I'm not here to complain about the Japanese in this particular post.
We got to Waco and ate breakfast at ihop, because it sounded like the smart thing to do. So after I absolutely stuffed my face, we went the 100 yards over to Penland, my dorm, and proceeded to do some heavy lifting and unloading.... just exactly what my newly filled stomach wanted, I'm sure. I could tell by the way it was silently screaming at me.
My room is right next to the shower. I can't decide if I like that or not. It's gonna be really convenient as far as getting to it quickly, but I dunno how noisy/smelly it could possibly get. The concrete walls should be enough, but we'll see I guess. Penland is pretty empty for a few more days, so I won't have an accurate idea of what I get to put up with until all the non-band-kids move in on Wednesday and Thursday.
Ok, so all the boxes get into the room, Mom is still being a little flipping pill.... all is going according to my worst nightmare's predictions. Ok, maybe not. I didn't loose a box, I have a room, a working key, I didn't forget too much... things are pretty ok. But Mom is being a bit... well, like herself. She's trying to control the situation where she is obviously not in the know. She'd been on my nerves since she woke me up at that ungodly hour that morning, and the way she was being all bossy just ticked me off that much more. To top it off, she found a few fireworks that I packed and flipped more.... and absolutely forbid me to keep them. So I wrote a small note to Connor, explaining the situation and to keep them save for me. And then told my dad to give the bag of fireworks to Connor and only Connor... probably not the safest move, but I think I can trust him enough to do that for me. (I guess that sentence applies to both Connor and my dad... take it as you will.)
Then dad ran to home depot with mom to get me a few other things like shelves and food, all while I started putting things in place and setting up. They got back eventually, we put up shelves, then we had to go check in with the band. Band is band, as usual. Same personalities for the most part... just slightly more mature, with the exception of the trombones, of course. They fed us lunch, gave me some free stuff (its baylor, after all), and then I went off to finish setting up.
We decided it would probably be smart to buy that 9 million dollars worth of text books while the parents were there with a credit card, so dad and I went and did that... it turned out to only be like, $600, but still. That's just wrong. $600 for all used textbooks. And I'm not even taking english this semester.
A bit after that my parents actually got around to leaving. It was a very guy-leaving-home moment, I think. I was like, ok, lets get on with this, I have somewhere to be, but not so much so that I didn't properly say bye to my parents... Dad gave me one last "don't screw up", and mom just gave me a hug. She wasn't close to tears or anything. We all knew this whole not being at home anymore thing needed to happen. So I left and went to band and it was all good... we had a big meeting and then a music rehearsal... all together. on one stage.
it was loud.
(And yes, I can hear the toilet flush from my bed. Its not intolerable, just slightly annoying. Thought you should know.)
This was the first time I've actually felt like a freshman. I guess its because this was the first thing where they integrated us into the group. We had orientation and line camp, but those are directed at freshmen and for freshmen, and besides the leaders, we freshmen are all there are. This was the first time there were people there who weren't my leaders, but were upperclassmen. And they knew things I didn't.... like the fight song. Or any of the other songs. Or the horn movements that go with them. Or that random pause that you never saw coming, simply because its not actually written in the music, but you're just supposed to know its there. I hate being a freshmen in that sense, where everyone can tell you're a freshman because you just really don't have a clue what's going on. It's a learning process this week, though, so it's all good. Slowly but surely, I'll fit in. I can tell its gonna be a lot of fun, and it'll be easy once I get the hang of it.
Which reminds me, I really should be getting ready for tomorrow's rehearsal instead of doing this... I should be putting together a flip book and reviewing some of that music so I don't fail so badly at it tomorrow. Oh well.
After that was dinner with the section. Anna, you'll love this.... we went to Chick-fil-A. I now know where the Chick-fil-A is. My life can continue in Waco. The problem is, it's like, a 10 minute drive. And I don't have a car... just a bike. Taking a nice little ride over there just isn't very plausible... again, oh well. I heard there's actually one on campus... I should look for it.
The freshmen had their own marching rehearsal tonight to get the basics down. It was supposed to be outside, but it started lightning, so we got to go to the really, really nice indoor football stadium that ONLY the football team gets to use most of the time.... it only has 90 yards. That explains a lot about the Baylor football program, don't you think? But yeah, we got to go inside, which was kinda awesome. I don't think I even broke a sweat.
I won't bore you with the differences between Mason band and Baylor band, but it's like being directed by a pair of Mr. Davis', with no pressure of any contests at all. And they don't really care how you march. They talk about precision, and we're trying to look good and be a pretty legit band, but really... its just not at all the same level as high school band. It's so much better.
Then we went to a frozen custard place back down on Valley Mills, over by Chick-fil-A..... I learned something important today. Everything I need is on Valley Mills. Everywhere I want to go off campus is on Valley Mills. This is just something they don't teach you in line camp, where they don't let you off campus at all, or at orientation, which is all about Baylor. There's only one way to figure out where everything off campus is... get here to stay, make upperclassmen friends.
But yeah, that was Day One of my life. Not too shabby I suppose....
Things I'm looking forward to: Roommates moving in, knowing the music, friends from line camp moving in, school starting (believe it or not), sleeping in (comes with school starting), and the cafeterias opening up, so I can stop eating out and blowing all my money.
Yep, that sums it up.
Here's how things went down today. I woke up at some ridiculous hour of the morning, showered, packed the last few things, and was ready to go around 6, I think. We left just after that. Needless to say, I slept like a rock in the car, even though I had about 14 inches of seat in the back, squished up next to my clothes, trumpet, sub woofer, and a backpack. And a few other things, I'm sure... it was all blending into the general "college stuff" pile by then. The six boxes, guitar, and bike just barely fit into the bed of Dad's frontier. That thing just doesn't qualify as a truck, honestly. Small bed, ok cab, but still small... its a diet truck, if anything. Anyway, I'm not here to complain about the Japanese in this particular post.
We got to Waco and ate breakfast at ihop, because it sounded like the smart thing to do. So after I absolutely stuffed my face, we went the 100 yards over to Penland, my dorm, and proceeded to do some heavy lifting and unloading.... just exactly what my newly filled stomach wanted, I'm sure. I could tell by the way it was silently screaming at me.
My room is right next to the shower. I can't decide if I like that or not. It's gonna be really convenient as far as getting to it quickly, but I dunno how noisy/smelly it could possibly get. The concrete walls should be enough, but we'll see I guess. Penland is pretty empty for a few more days, so I won't have an accurate idea of what I get to put up with until all the non-band-kids move in on Wednesday and Thursday.
Ok, so all the boxes get into the room, Mom is still being a little flipping pill.... all is going according to my worst nightmare's predictions. Ok, maybe not. I didn't loose a box, I have a room, a working key, I didn't forget too much... things are pretty ok. But Mom is being a bit... well, like herself. She's trying to control the situation where she is obviously not in the know. She'd been on my nerves since she woke me up at that ungodly hour that morning, and the way she was being all bossy just ticked me off that much more. To top it off, she found a few fireworks that I packed and flipped more.... and absolutely forbid me to keep them. So I wrote a small note to Connor, explaining the situation and to keep them save for me. And then told my dad to give the bag of fireworks to Connor and only Connor... probably not the safest move, but I think I can trust him enough to do that for me. (I guess that sentence applies to both Connor and my dad... take it as you will.)
Then dad ran to home depot with mom to get me a few other things like shelves and food, all while I started putting things in place and setting up. They got back eventually, we put up shelves, then we had to go check in with the band. Band is band, as usual. Same personalities for the most part... just slightly more mature, with the exception of the trombones, of course. They fed us lunch, gave me some free stuff (its baylor, after all), and then I went off to finish setting up.
We decided it would probably be smart to buy that 9 million dollars worth of text books while the parents were there with a credit card, so dad and I went and did that... it turned out to only be like, $600, but still. That's just wrong. $600 for all used textbooks. And I'm not even taking english this semester.
A bit after that my parents actually got around to leaving. It was a very guy-leaving-home moment, I think. I was like, ok, lets get on with this, I have somewhere to be, but not so much so that I didn't properly say bye to my parents... Dad gave me one last "don't screw up", and mom just gave me a hug. She wasn't close to tears or anything. We all knew this whole not being at home anymore thing needed to happen. So I left and went to band and it was all good... we had a big meeting and then a music rehearsal... all together. on one stage.
it was loud.
(And yes, I can hear the toilet flush from my bed. Its not intolerable, just slightly annoying. Thought you should know.)
This was the first time I've actually felt like a freshman. I guess its because this was the first thing where they integrated us into the group. We had orientation and line camp, but those are directed at freshmen and for freshmen, and besides the leaders, we freshmen are all there are. This was the first time there were people there who weren't my leaders, but were upperclassmen. And they knew things I didn't.... like the fight song. Or any of the other songs. Or the horn movements that go with them. Or that random pause that you never saw coming, simply because its not actually written in the music, but you're just supposed to know its there. I hate being a freshmen in that sense, where everyone can tell you're a freshman because you just really don't have a clue what's going on. It's a learning process this week, though, so it's all good. Slowly but surely, I'll fit in. I can tell its gonna be a lot of fun, and it'll be easy once I get the hang of it.
Which reminds me, I really should be getting ready for tomorrow's rehearsal instead of doing this... I should be putting together a flip book and reviewing some of that music so I don't fail so badly at it tomorrow. Oh well.
After that was dinner with the section. Anna, you'll love this.... we went to Chick-fil-A. I now know where the Chick-fil-A is. My life can continue in Waco. The problem is, it's like, a 10 minute drive. And I don't have a car... just a bike. Taking a nice little ride over there just isn't very plausible... again, oh well. I heard there's actually one on campus... I should look for it.
The freshmen had their own marching rehearsal tonight to get the basics down. It was supposed to be outside, but it started lightning, so we got to go to the really, really nice indoor football stadium that ONLY the football team gets to use most of the time.... it only has 90 yards. That explains a lot about the Baylor football program, don't you think? But yeah, we got to go inside, which was kinda awesome. I don't think I even broke a sweat.
I won't bore you with the differences between Mason band and Baylor band, but it's like being directed by a pair of Mr. Davis', with no pressure of any contests at all. And they don't really care how you march. They talk about precision, and we're trying to look good and be a pretty legit band, but really... its just not at all the same level as high school band. It's so much better.
Then we went to a frozen custard place back down on Valley Mills, over by Chick-fil-A..... I learned something important today. Everything I need is on Valley Mills. Everywhere I want to go off campus is on Valley Mills. This is just something they don't teach you in line camp, where they don't let you off campus at all, or at orientation, which is all about Baylor. There's only one way to figure out where everything off campus is... get here to stay, make upperclassmen friends.
But yeah, that was Day One of my life. Not too shabby I suppose....
Things I'm looking forward to: Roommates moving in, knowing the music, friends from line camp moving in, school starting (believe it or not), sleeping in (comes with school starting), and the cafeterias opening up, so I can stop eating out and blowing all my money.
Yep, that sums it up.
Friday, August 13, 2010
2 days to rebirth.
As I think I pointed out recently, I equate moving into my dorm and starting college with death and rebirth, because that's essentially what it is. So going along with that, I had three days to live at the beginning of today. I woke up on my own time, around 9 I think, and did something important that I can't say on here for fear of ruining the surprise. (I just smiled, imagining this person reading this and wondering if it was about her... she hates surprises.) As for the rest of day 3 of the countdown to death? I got some stuff for my dorm, finished up some stuff for my contacts and glasses (which, whether you could guess or not, are actually fairly important to have in college), came home, packed more, ate some ramen (because I'm not gonna get sick of that in college or anything... my dad's giving me the 40 pack I think), watched tv, ate more..... my plans for the night fell through, so I ended up driving around doing some other things I needed to, like returning a movie.
Speaking of movies, let me tell you about the 2 movies I recently rented on purpose. The first one was called "The Stuff". Let me give you a quick imdb plot summary.
Yeah. Just use your imaginations. It was that bad. You want more? Lookie here.
uh huh. That bad. It was possibly the worst horror movie I've ever seen. I laughed my ass off the whole time. If you want a really bad movie night, this is one of your better bets.
The second one is based on a joke. You know that movie, Super Size Me? Well, Doug Benson, a stand up comedian, watched it totally stoned, and started using it as material, saying, "wouldn't it be awesome to have a sequel, Super High Me? Just go like, 30 days, constantly stoned!" Well, a film maker listened to the joke and said, "hey, that could work!"
And thus, Super High Me was born. This guy gave the most in depth, weed experiment ever attempted, and remembered somehow to video tape it.
He took 30 days without smoking, doing all kinds of tests including a physical, an SAT, a psychic test, memory, sperm count... all kinds of stuff. During the non-smoking month, he did all kinds of interviews and visits to medicinal THC "dispensaries" in California. Oddly informational while at the same time, freaking hilarious. The second half was more just watching him try to spend 22 hours a day stoned. He moved a lot less, ate a lot more, and was funnier, both on purpose and not. The results at the end were fairly entertaining.... he wasnt sick of weed, for one. The physical at the end determined that spending the better part of a month stoned constantly does absolutely no damage. He lost a little lung capacity, but that's not permanent... his were still above normal, actually. He gained 12 pounds, but who didn't see that coming, seriously. And believe it or not, he still wasn't a psychic , but he did better on both that psychic test and his SAT (that he took brownie-in-hand). He bumped his composite from 900 and some to almost a 1300.
Anyway, sorry to spoil the ending for you. and sorry for going into a whole dissertation of the thing... i got distracted?
So yeah, those were my 2 "awesome" 2 for $1 movies at family video. If you ever want something horribly inappropriate, gory, bad, terribly awful, interesting but horrid, bad and gory, or most other combination of inappropriate, gore filled, and just plain awful movie, go to family video's 2 for $1 racks. Joyful movies like The Stuff, as well as Orgasmo and Donkey Punch. Please, don't look those up. I repeat: DO NOT LOOK THOSE UP IF YOU VALUE YOUR BRAIN. (if you plan on it anyway, I suggest wikipedia)
...
...
...
In the middle of this post somewhere, my brother came home and informed me he was planning on party crashing a girl's sleepover for band. Once invited, I joined in said party crashing, with fun things like water balloons and shaving cream balloons. Then we resorted to less creative things like jumping in the pool and splashing at the girls. Then we all made friends and stayed until 1 in the morning. A MUCH BETTER USE OF THOSE THREE DAYS. This was so much better than sitting at home typing to no one. Oh, by the way, I wanted to ask.. if you read these, comment or something so I know who I'm generally talking to... it's disheartening to write all these and get zip zero responses or comments or acknowledgment. I mean, just say hi or something. It doesn't need to be a 2 page essay on my writing selection in MLA format... just a "hey here I am" thing.
But yeah, a much better choice than driving around Coppell alone.
Ah, but now, I must confess, all my fun has left me drained, despite 2 or 3 Dr Peppers and a Rockstar. I must retire my friends, so, until next time...
Speaking of movies, let me tell you about the 2 movies I recently rented on purpose. The first one was called "The Stuff". Let me give you a quick imdb plot summary.
Weird yummy goo erupts from the earth and is discovered by a couple of miners. They taste it and decide to market it because it tastes so good. The American public literally eats up the new dessert sensation now known as the Stuff but, unfortunately, it takes over the brains of those who eat it, turning them into zombie-like creatures. It is up to ex-FBI agent David Rutherford and a kid named Jason to stop the spread of the mind-devouring dessert.
Yeah. Just use your imaginations. It was that bad. You want more? Lookie here.
uh huh. That bad. It was possibly the worst horror movie I've ever seen. I laughed my ass off the whole time. If you want a really bad movie night, this is one of your better bets.
The second one is based on a joke. You know that movie, Super Size Me? Well, Doug Benson, a stand up comedian, watched it totally stoned, and started using it as material, saying, "wouldn't it be awesome to have a sequel, Super High Me? Just go like, 30 days, constantly stoned!" Well, a film maker listened to the joke and said, "hey, that could work!"
And thus, Super High Me was born. This guy gave the most in depth, weed experiment ever attempted, and remembered somehow to video tape it.
He took 30 days without smoking, doing all kinds of tests including a physical, an SAT, a psychic test, memory, sperm count... all kinds of stuff. During the non-smoking month, he did all kinds of interviews and visits to medicinal THC "dispensaries" in California. Oddly informational while at the same time, freaking hilarious. The second half was more just watching him try to spend 22 hours a day stoned. He moved a lot less, ate a lot more, and was funnier, both on purpose and not. The results at the end were fairly entertaining.... he wasnt sick of weed, for one. The physical at the end determined that spending the better part of a month stoned constantly does absolutely no damage. He lost a little lung capacity, but that's not permanent... his were still above normal, actually. He gained 12 pounds, but who didn't see that coming, seriously. And believe it or not, he still wasn't a psychic , but he did better on both that psychic test and his SAT (that he took brownie-in-hand). He bumped his composite from 900 and some to almost a 1300.
Anyway, sorry to spoil the ending for you. and sorry for going into a whole dissertation of the thing... i got distracted?
So yeah, those were my 2 "awesome" 2 for $1 movies at family video. If you ever want something horribly inappropriate, gory, bad, terribly awful, interesting but horrid, bad and gory, or most other combination of inappropriate, gore filled, and just plain awful movie, go to family video's 2 for $1 racks. Joyful movies like The Stuff, as well as Orgasmo and Donkey Punch. Please, don't look those up. I repeat: DO NOT LOOK THOSE UP IF YOU VALUE YOUR BRAIN. (if you plan on it anyway, I suggest wikipedia)
...
...
...
In the middle of this post somewhere, my brother came home and informed me he was planning on party crashing a girl's sleepover for band. Once invited, I joined in said party crashing, with fun things like water balloons and shaving cream balloons. Then we resorted to less creative things like jumping in the pool and splashing at the girls. Then we all made friends and stayed until 1 in the morning. A MUCH BETTER USE OF THOSE THREE DAYS. This was so much better than sitting at home typing to no one. Oh, by the way, I wanted to ask.. if you read these, comment or something so I know who I'm generally talking to... it's disheartening to write all these and get zip zero responses or comments or acknowledgment. I mean, just say hi or something. It doesn't need to be a 2 page essay on my writing selection in MLA format... just a "hey here I am" thing.
But yeah, a much better choice than driving around Coppell alone.
Ah, but now, I must confess, all my fun has left me drained, despite 2 or 3 Dr Peppers and a Rockstar. I must retire my friends, so, until next time...
Saturday, August 7, 2010
NINE?!
Can you believe its been almost a month since I posted? God, time absolutely soars when there's a deadline. It's a bit ridiculous, I do think. I'm so scattered now that it's really down to it. I feel like I can't accomplish everything I'd like to anymore. With 9 days to go in this life, I feel like I'm dying too quickly to find that bucket list. And it really is a life that's ending. They call it transitioning, but we all know the truth. It's rebirth. Starting over. Ending one life and starting another, even more new and exciting than the last. In 9 days, nothing is the same.
In 9 days, my life routine gets shot to hell. Suddenly, home is not so concrete. My current city.. Waco? But no, that can't be. My home is here... with my parents and family and room and bed and bathroom. Or so I've known for 18 years now. Now, in 9 days, nothing is right. Everything has the big reset button pushed. I no longer wake up at a certain time, take 9 steps to the shower, proceed to shower in peace, walk 20 steps to my own family's small kitchen, get a powdered donut or two and some OJ, walk another 10 steps to the family couch, turn on the big screen tv, hit up the DVR menu and see what shows I missed the night previous. This is fairly daily now days, but oh no, not but in 9 more now. I suddenly won't have a routine to follow, like the first day or week of school when you're not sure who you pass in the hallways or the fast route from class A to class B versus the social route from A to B. This is like that times a million.
I suppose it frightens me because its just a general fear of the unknown. It'll become easy as time goes, but the beginning scares the hell out of me. I think the unknown is just part of it. One thing is perfectly known: There is to be no pattern there at the beginning. And BAM. OCD mind fuck. THAT. JUST. HAPPENED. But seriously, my OCD is starting to tingle. What am I going to do, knowing that when I do it this way, there's a chance my body and mind won't be satisfied unless I do it that same way until the end of Spring. Like showering in the morning versus night, or when I sleep, or where I take my contacts out - the shower room or my dorm? Where do I put the shampoo bottle in the shower? You probably are like, no, really Kyle, some people actually have these problems, you shouldn't exaggerate and be an ass like that. But isn't that the funny part? That I'm not laughing? These are ridiculous examples that I have, but those are just a few of my OCD tid bits. My brain is obsessed with the idea of routine. If it can just do the same things that it does everyday the same way, life is good. Shower: adjust temperature, wash hair, wash face, wash body, dry off - hair, face, body, brush teeth, contacts, shave, deodorant. Every day the same. A small masterpiece of clockwork that I could perform after an hour and a half of sleep for the night. I could be the most zombie-like creature you know and still do my morning routine, not only exactly the same way, but in the same time.
So yeah, a little freaked out about having to hit that reset button. Just a bit.
On the bright side, I'm crossing big things off my high school lives-with-his-parents kid bucket list. I just went to the circus last night, which was freaking awesome, and tomorrow I'm going sky diving. That's what I'm doing with Day 9 of the countdown. And I'll be there with two of my best friends. Well, now that I think about a bit more like the cynic I am, I should say my current best friends. I guess I won't really be seeing much more of them for a long time. Anyway, that should be a bunch of fun. Sunday I get the opportunity to start attending all of the 'farewell parties', which should just be renamed "happy/sad/excited/anxious/scared as hell/most other emotions party where we talk about college using all of the previously mentioned emotions all while bringing up all the good memories of our dying life to bring forth once again most of the previously mentioned emotions". Yes, that's much more specific, accurate version, and face it, it's just more fun to say 5 times quickly. Those parties will be, you guessed it, happy, sad, exciting, scary as hell.... all of those ones. And in just 9 days, the people I see at those parties will, for the most part, take a new role in my life as a new full time resident in my memory. No more visits to the current experience part. Just a memory. Sure, I have skype, facebook, this... hell, I still have AIM if anyone's up for it. But the internet can't compensate for somethings. Sometimes a video chat reaches its limits. Only so much emotion can come out of a facebook chat. No...I may be able to communicate with them, but the small things that make them who they are will be lost with their physical company.
Now, if you read this and say to yourself, or rather, to me silently, KYLE YOU LITTLE BITCH YOU BETTER NOT LET THIS HAPPEN!!!, chances are, you are not in the majority and this doesn't apply to you. If you care that strongly, we clearly have a withstanding friendship and college can't stop that. But most of those 700 friends on facebook aren't quite as close as you and I. You know if we're going to lose touch or not, just like I do.. I just choose not to lie to myself and tell myself that I'm going to stay awesome friends that are going to UT a few hours from Waco. Seeing most of the friends I take for granted now is going to become a nostalgic treat for me, and a special event for me. Lunch together is going to be interesting, finally, because we actually have so much to talk about after not seeing each other in person for several months. Isn't that just a bit crazy to think about? We take each other for granted, and the weight of that is going to fall onto our feet as soon as we start to miss them when all this college mess slows down enough for us to all think again.
And with that positive, joyful thought, good night everyone, and I sincerely hope if you've taken the time to read this and the others, you weren't being talked about back there when I mentioned you becoming just a memory. I really do hope that.
'Night everyone.
In 9 days, my life routine gets shot to hell. Suddenly, home is not so concrete. My current city.. Waco? But no, that can't be. My home is here... with my parents and family and room and bed and bathroom. Or so I've known for 18 years now. Now, in 9 days, nothing is right. Everything has the big reset button pushed. I no longer wake up at a certain time, take 9 steps to the shower, proceed to shower in peace, walk 20 steps to my own family's small kitchen, get a powdered donut or two and some OJ, walk another 10 steps to the family couch, turn on the big screen tv, hit up the DVR menu and see what shows I missed the night previous. This is fairly daily now days, but oh no, not but in 9 more now. I suddenly won't have a routine to follow, like the first day or week of school when you're not sure who you pass in the hallways or the fast route from class A to class B versus the social route from A to B. This is like that times a million.
I suppose it frightens me because its just a general fear of the unknown. It'll become easy as time goes, but the beginning scares the hell out of me. I think the unknown is just part of it. One thing is perfectly known: There is to be no pattern there at the beginning. And BAM. OCD mind fuck. THAT. JUST. HAPPENED. But seriously, my OCD is starting to tingle. What am I going to do, knowing that when I do it this way, there's a chance my body and mind won't be satisfied unless I do it that same way until the end of Spring. Like showering in the morning versus night, or when I sleep, or where I take my contacts out - the shower room or my dorm? Where do I put the shampoo bottle in the shower? You probably are like, no, really Kyle, some people actually have these problems, you shouldn't exaggerate and be an ass like that. But isn't that the funny part? That I'm not laughing? These are ridiculous examples that I have, but those are just a few of my OCD tid bits. My brain is obsessed with the idea of routine. If it can just do the same things that it does everyday the same way, life is good. Shower: adjust temperature, wash hair, wash face, wash body, dry off - hair, face, body, brush teeth, contacts, shave, deodorant. Every day the same. A small masterpiece of clockwork that I could perform after an hour and a half of sleep for the night. I could be the most zombie-like creature you know and still do my morning routine, not only exactly the same way, but in the same time.
So yeah, a little freaked out about having to hit that reset button. Just a bit.
On the bright side, I'm crossing big things off my high school lives-with-his-parents kid bucket list. I just went to the circus last night, which was freaking awesome, and tomorrow I'm going sky diving. That's what I'm doing with Day 9 of the countdown. And I'll be there with two of my best friends. Well, now that I think about a bit more like the cynic I am, I should say my current best friends. I guess I won't really be seeing much more of them for a long time. Anyway, that should be a bunch of fun. Sunday I get the opportunity to start attending all of the 'farewell parties', which should just be renamed "happy/sad/excited/anxious/scared as hell/most other emotions party where we talk about college using all of the previously mentioned emotions all while bringing up all the good memories of our dying life to bring forth once again most of the previously mentioned emotions". Yes, that's much more specific, accurate version, and face it, it's just more fun to say 5 times quickly. Those parties will be, you guessed it, happy, sad, exciting, scary as hell.... all of those ones. And in just 9 days, the people I see at those parties will, for the most part, take a new role in my life as a new full time resident in my memory. No more visits to the current experience part. Just a memory. Sure, I have skype, facebook, this... hell, I still have AIM if anyone's up for it. But the internet can't compensate for somethings. Sometimes a video chat reaches its limits. Only so much emotion can come out of a facebook chat. No...I may be able to communicate with them, but the small things that make them who they are will be lost with their physical company.
Now, if you read this and say to yourself, or rather, to me silently, KYLE YOU LITTLE BITCH YOU BETTER NOT LET THIS HAPPEN!!!, chances are, you are not in the majority and this doesn't apply to you. If you care that strongly, we clearly have a withstanding friendship and college can't stop that. But most of those 700 friends on facebook aren't quite as close as you and I. You know if we're going to lose touch or not, just like I do.. I just choose not to lie to myself and tell myself that I'm going to stay awesome friends that are going to UT a few hours from Waco. Seeing most of the friends I take for granted now is going to become a nostalgic treat for me, and a special event for me. Lunch together is going to be interesting, finally, because we actually have so much to talk about after not seeing each other in person for several months. Isn't that just a bit crazy to think about? We take each other for granted, and the weight of that is going to fall onto our feet as soon as we start to miss them when all this college mess slows down enough for us to all think again.
And with that positive, joyful thought, good night everyone, and I sincerely hope if you've taken the time to read this and the others, you weren't being talked about back there when I mentioned you becoming just a memory. I really do hope that.
'Night everyone.
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