Thursday, March 22, 2012

Its a double post kinda day. That last one was a specific thought. Now just to ramble a bit. Today kinda sucked, and not because of the day. Its 75 with a light breeze and not a cloud in the sky. One of my classes was canceled. The test that was today got moved in another class. I didn't get yelled at like most days by my bitch professor. It should have been a good day. But I woke up and realized something.

I have no idea what I'm doing with my life.

Not a clue. I fall into this pattern of class, homework, social, sleep, repeat. And not always in that order... okay, never in that order, but regardless. What am I doing? Just sailing through life. No plans for the future at all, really. Worry about today, get to tomorrow, worry about it then. All these people around me are out accomplishing things and making plans. Meeting people, getting internships, starting businesses, and all other kinds of awesome things that make me go, wow, I wish I had it together like that guy. That guy is getting ahead and making a name for himself. He knows what he wants to do and has it planned out all the way to retirement, which at this rate is 35 for him.

I'm not talking about anyone in particular. I don't know anyone that's knowingly planning on retiring at 35, but all the same, some of these people I know are headed in that kinda direction, and it's because they have their lives together. Where do these people find that kind of motivation to break the mold of routine and do something with themselves?

I only have class on Tuesdays and Thursdays. It's a Thursday afternoon, and I have a four day weekend ahead of me, like always. What am I going to do? I'll tell you. I'll tell myself, okay, here's your school work due Tuesday. Here's the schoolwork you should get ahead on that's due Thursday or later. Here's the test to start studying for on Thursday. Then I'll forget about it and go hang out with friends. I'll probably get pretty drunk at some point between now and Tuesday. I'll watch about a season of Weeds on Netflix, because that's my current tv OCD addiction. I'll sleep about 50 hours. Maybe more. Monday night around 11, I'll open my backback and procrastinate a bit, then start my homework around midnight.

What the fuck am I doing with my life?

I see the problem. I know what to do. I also know, though, that I have zero motivation to do any of it. Why fix it? I have a 3.7 gpa. I'm surviving. Tomorrow is covered, so who gives two shits about the day after that? God forbid I think about next YEAR, and most of all avoid a career at all costs. Because right now, I have netflix.

Tonight, I think I'll do a bit of spring cleaning. That should help make me feel like I have my life together. Cleaning always makes me feel like I'm doing something productive. Not just tiding up around the house and doing dishes and laundry and such, but like, super spring cleaning. Throwing out shit I saved but haven't touched in over a year kinda cleaning. A few shots of tequilla should really help this process. Sounds like a quality Thursday night to me. See you all after the hangover.

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