why do we try?

i am in band. yay band. wait. yay band?
after the first day today of our official senior year of band, i've come to realize something.

i dont care.

the only thing that kept me in band was mr. davis. i like playing my instrument, but not enough to put up with that wretched man we sometimes compare to a puppeteer, a god, satan, mother earth, a robot, and so many other things. now that he's gone, and replaced with the worst possible thing possible - a man with a teaching style much like fucking sanchez's, i cant stand it anymore. i might just go tell mason i quit and walk out. i have the region music. i dont need all this fucking pressure to go with it. i'll just learn the damn music and go to region. get a solo and go to solo. thats the most important part of our program anyway, right? why do the rest of it. its my senior year. i dont want to put up with this crap anymore, and now that davis is gone, there really just isnt any reason to. sure, sure, that feeling you get when they call our name out when we make finals or win or get third at state is great and all, but lets face it. its a BOA year. they hate us. we're fucked and we all know it.

i can either stay in band for another 177.5 hours of rehearsal (probably more - thats just the rest of summer and after school rehearsals), or i can devote that 7.4 DAYS to more productive things, like eagle scout so my parents will help pay for college. so i can get INTO college. so i can get scholarships and jobs. thats important. this band shit is crap. what is it on some job application in any state but this one? what is it on most job applications IN texas? nothing. 'leadership'. yeah. in some stupid freaking high school, amature band. first trumpet in the DSO. thats something people understand. and how do i get there? sure as hell isnt marching band.

so why the heck do we try so hard? i ask every band kid i know 'why do we stay in band?' and they all have the same response: "hmmm........i dont know." well neither do i. its about time i did something about it too. why am i section leader? what are the benefits? i get yelled at. i get blamed. i get another 20 pounds added to the backpack of responsibility i'm already wearing. wooh. why do i stay in marching band? so i can get out in the hot and sweat? so i can get yelled at some more? so i can waste another 178 hours of my life? well thats just great. i guess i have all the reasons in the world to try.