growing up is icky sometimes.

ooh ooh, excitement! people are ....wait for it..... following me! and in turn i can follow them, now that i know they exist! its like one big stalker circle where everyone can follow everyone around forever and ever! wooh!

and with the word "wooh" i am sadly brought to the topic of my mother. again.
"wooh" reminded me simply because i said "woot" rather unenthusiastically when she said something i was supposed to be excited about, but clearly wasnt. i cant remember what it was, but when i responded with a dull "woot", mom turned to me with a funny look on her face and was like "what does that mean?" My dad, who is slightly less out of it than her, looks up from his book and says "Christy, it means 'whippie.'" he made sure to say it with a look that made it clear he was holding back laughter. she is such the joke of the family. always out of the loop, with the illusion of control.

sadly, she actually does have some control, since she grounded both my brother and me for a week. dad, who felt out pain but could do nothing about it but turn a blind eye, strangely seemed to disappear whenever visitors came over during this grounding. he is so helpless - subject to the woman, the queen of the house. we men never do anything at all apparently. she came home and all the things she didnt tell us to do werent done! so naturally, we were grounded for not balancing our lives correctly. all play and no work, she said. now, to be fair, she's quite right. i avoid work whenever possible until the very last possible minute, but she didnt exactly tell us to accomplish anything that day. so we both went out and played. hung out with friends. went out to eat. all the things teenagers do during the summer. but can we get away with normal things? surely not in the household my mother upholds. normal... what an absurd thought. we cant be normal, no sir. thats simply not permitted. we must rise above normal blah blah blah blah.

we've probably all heard the speech. i won't reiterate.

but theres a second part to all this that you dont know about. my mother is a dreadful grounder. a little sweet talking and begging here and there goes a long way. her mind says be mad, but her heart wont let her keep her promised grounding for more than a day or two. so by saturday, she tentatively approved things like birthday parties and hanging out with friends and just plain leaving the house.

my whole family gives off a slowly fading image of perfection. we used to eat together every night at the dinner table and talk about our days and all that. my parents always smiled and complimented each other and the two sons; we all got along great. now its becoming clear that perfection is not the word for our family. it could be that our family is falling apart slowly, but i think its more that i'm just getting older and more objective about things, instead of accepting that mommy and daddy are faultless gods. now little kyle can see how mad mommy gets when daddy runs to his friends house 3 times in a week to have fun, since he clearly doesnt have any when he's under her Nazi rule in his own house. and little kyle can see the impatience mounting in mommy whenever a nasty kid leaves another sock in the kitchen or another shoe by the door, and that she's always preparing to go volcanic on those bratty kids again if she finds just one more... but mostly, what i've come to realize is that its not mommy and daddy, as a single. but mom and then dad, two very different people with different views and different friends and philosophies and roles. apparently, they either used to agree on everything, or they compromised behind the kids' backs and came to some agreement and enforced together. its the perfect plan... till the kid catches on. then it looks more like dad is reluctantly following the nazi's orders and the nazi has shamefully realized that she hates herself for being so controlling.

anyway, these are the musings of a sleep deprived teenager, so try not to analyze them too much or anything, but you gotta admit. its got some truth. your family is probably similar. maybe flip flop the roles, maybe take away a kid or add a few, but i think that from the kids perspective, all families stop being perfect as you grow up and become self aware. parents arent just parents; theyre people too. and even people with steady jobs and a secure home and mostly stable family have problems that they cant always hide. even to their own kids, eventually.

update?

I dont really know what i'm supposed to write anymore. i dont have any particularly insightful rants right now, i dont really have any drama, i dont even have homework to bitch about right now. i dont have a poem, story, or song. i dont have a fun story. but i feel like i should write something. its been too long since i've said anything. and everytime i get on the computer, i feel guilty because i see my little blogspot icon and it reminds me i havent writen anything lately. That one over there? Yeah, that little bugger is a demonic little reminder. the facebook button over to its left is very distracting during homework too....

anyway, i clicked it finally, and here i am. and now i realize that i just dont have anything to write about except not knowing what to write about. coincidentally, thats exactly what i did for SAT the first time... i wrote about not knowing what to write about on the SAT. kinda ironic, but it was fun to write. if i can get a grader to give me 5 out of 6 on that, the same concept should work here, right?

ok maybe not. but apparently, it held their attention pretty well. i guess i'll think of something then, huh?
...ok how about a few shorties?

• its tuesday night right now. its summer. neither of my parents are home. its fairly awesome outside. i could be doing a million different things, but i'm here on my computer? lame.
• summer school started today. my teacher isnt exactly what i expected at all. she's fairly young, a bit attractive, and has one heck of a bubbly personality. she kinda looks and acts like lauren lyssy (dont let that inadvertent comment go to your head, lauren) actually, its scary how much she looks and acts like lauren. they could be long lost twins if it wasnt for the age difference.
• last night was fun. a heck of a lot more fun than tonight is anyway. i was with other people last night. friends and more-than-friends make my world keep spinning. if i had no friends, i seriously could not keep living. i'd off myself in minutes. i live for friends. its all redundant, but i cant say it enough ways. thank you all for being my friends, it literally means the world to me.
  
• i got a new radio receiver for my car radio. it was much in need. the cd player didnt work, it didnt get loud enough, i couldnt hook my ipod up to it.....now i have a functional cd player, a volume knob that is more than suffcient, and i can hook my ipod up to it in multiple ways. not to mention, it looks a hell of a lot better than the stock deck and i have a remote! i can sit on the booth seat in the back and change the song. its amazing.
  
• our family at long last invested in a blu ray player. my dad got tired of dealing with the ancient dvd player. plus, the new player has internal wifi, so it gets netflix wireless. its completely self-sufficient. kinda awesome. only one problem. the ancient television only has one 1080i input, so we cant have HD fios channels and a full quality blu ray player. its stuck on like 400 something - a third (ish) of the quality it should get.....but it still looks sexy sitting up there on the tv.
  
• my dad has decided the TV goes next.
  
• tim got a girlfriend. yes, she really exists this time.
• i should be following shortly behind him, if nothing odd happens. but then again, thats the story of my life, isnt it? something is bound to go horribly wrong, just when it seemed like my head was surfacing from the pool of high school drama. the evil beast will get my leg and pull me back under. lets hope not this time? i think so.
• quick poll: does kyle sing? i didnt think so! but apparently, someone thinks i can. karen (from church) has been trying to get me to sing in chruch - like, not just sing along, but lead it with the mic and everything - and she finally got to barry and he got to me and now i'm singing in church on sunday. i reluctantly said ok. i'm still very close to refusing. i'm not as outgoing as i seem. i'd rather retain my dignity, but i guess i get to see if i actually can sing or not. i guess i've always just said i cant and stopped any conversation leading toward a demonstration. ive never really tried. this should be interesting, no?
• i read the twilight series. yes, its true. a while ago, i was listening to a twilight conversation, shortly after the movie came out, i guess. and they were all talking about how amazing edward was and blah blah blah, and i just laughed at them, mentioned something about a gay vampire princess, and went along my way. what all normal males do, yes? anyway, they laughed back at me, telling me how i just didnt understand and i just didnt get it and i was ignorant and stupid, etc. well that got to me. so i decided i'd read the stupid gay vampire books so i could then intelligently insult the books. i could make informed, smart statements about just how idiotic bella was and how overdone it all is. and yes, thats all true, but after reading them......i gotta say, i liked them. they were written really well. i definitely recommend them to any guy who refuses to look at them on simple principle like i was. yes, the first book could be titled 'fawning over edward cullen's beauty', but by the last book, she stops mentioning how hot he is every page and keeps it down to about once or twice a chapter. by the last book, its more action than romance, and it definitely didnt suck.
  
• Harry Potter VI comes out in theaters in a week. anyone up for midnight IMAX?
• does anyone have a speech 1311 text book they want to sell me?

wow, i guess there is a lot going on in my life. just not enough of one thing to take up a whole blog entry. i guess this worked out ok.

this one doesnt tell me how many views i have like myspace did... sad face.
just how many people are following me (that sounds creepy....)
so if you arent yet, be a 'follower' of me, just so i know you exist.

something to think about:

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Twice upon a time in the valley of the tears
An auctioneer is bidding for a box of fading years
And the elephants are dancing on the graves of squealing mice.
Anyone for tennis, wouldn't that be nice?

And the ice creams are all melting on the streets of bloody beer
While the beggars stain the pavements with flourescent Christmas cheer
And the Bentley-driving guru is putting up his price.
Anyone for tennis, wouldn't that be nice?

And the prophets in the boutiques give out messages of hope
With jingle bells and fairy tales and blind colliding scopes
And you can tell they're all the same underneath the pretty lies.
Anyone for tennis, wouldn't that be nice?

The yellow Buddhist monk is burning brightly at the zoo
You can bring a bowl of rice and then a glass of water too
And fate is setting up the chessboard while death rolls out the dice.
Anyone for tennis, wouldn't that be nice?

-Eric Clapton

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